Oh my
by Jimmy10.0
Summary: Settling in to watch his documentary, Megatron makes a mistake. Starscream recorded the wrong program, and he will suffer the consequences. Inspired by SkysFireLady15's Megatron and the Purple Dinosaur. Written with her permission. Bonus extra chapter now up!
1. Chapter 1

**Sup guys! This was inspired by the one shot SkysFireLady15 wrote, and with her permission, I wrote this plot bunny. Some of what happens might not make as much sense, but I hope you get the gist of it. I'd suggest you youtube, "Friendship is magic, B****!" on youtube for the the one quote. Seriously, it makes the punchline make sense. Watch it before you read. And no, I'm trying to convert you guys.**

* * *

It had been a long day for Lord Megatron. Those slagging Autobots had been working on his nerves again. They had nearly found his Energon warehouse, but had been called back to the base at the last minute due to a 'Con that had been spotted elsewhere. He had been out scouting for possible terrains to have a new base of operations. The warehouse they had did not quite fit the bill.

It screamed "abandoned" with its rusted plating and holes in the ceiling, but when the abandoned crates of Primus knows what were stacked properly, you could keep the worst of the rain out. There were an array of screens along the one wall, and opposite it was a throne, or something close to a throne. It was a glorified pile of neatly stacked crates.

Megatron sank into the pile of crates, gears clicking into place as the pistons depressurised in loud hissing sounds. He sighed happily as everything sank into place, tension of the day leaving him. He had a nice cup of highgrade on the small 'side table', and a large remote sitting next to it. Grabbing the remote, he turned on one of the screens.

_Hopefully that idiot Starscream recorded the right bloody program._ Megatron thought to himself as he looked for the documentary on the Second World War. It was a 4 part series, and he had found the character of Adolf Hitler absolutely fascinating. Finding the program that had been recorded in the designated time slot, he selected it, reclining into the stacked crates as he took a rather large sip of highgrade, turning up the volume.

"MY LITTLE PONY! MY LITTLE PONY! AAHHHHHH!" The highgrade was impressively spewed from where he had been sitting all over the screen. Terror filled him at the colourful ponies that were prancing around on the screen. He could not tear himself away from the terrifyingly hypnotic story. This episode was about the six main characters, he assumed, having to save the land of, Equestria? from a large fire breathing dragon whose smoky breath was threatening to cover the land in thick clouds of smoke for a hundred years.

He watched as the six made the journey up the mountain where the dragon was, snorting at the fact that a butter yellow pony with wings were giving them so many hassles as they simply tried to climb the mountain.

He could not understand why he was still watching this femme sparkling program.

All the mares in the story tried to reason with the dragon to make him leave, well, everyone except the yellow winged pony. When a blue pony with rainbow colored hair took the dragon on, it made it mad, which made the Yellow one mad, who put the scary dragon in its place.

The credits rolled on the screen as Lord Megatron sat, confused, horrified and downright terrified. Horrified, because a program this hideous existed, confused, because he had watched the entire thing, and terrified… because… because…

Because he had enjoyed it.

Standing up, he threw the ludicrous concept it aside, and stormed off to find Starscream, to blame him for making him watch this slag.

XXXXXXXXX

"Mirage, what did you see? What are the Decepticons planning?" Optimus asked the silver spy bot. Said bot was lying on the ground, curled up into the fetal position, shivering from fear.

"I… I… I can't… It's too terrible to describe sir." Mirage had been part of the war for centuries, there had been nothing he had not seen before. But what he saw that day had rocked him to the core. Millennia could not have prepared him for what he had seen that day.

"Mirage, what are they planning? You have to tell if this if we want to stop them!" Ironhide shouted, irritated by the mech's behaviour. He knew that it had to be something serious that it could have Mirage curled up like a sparkling.

"It's not what they're planning, it's… it's what… it's what they are doing…" Mirage shivered as the flashbacks filled his processors.

_Bright colours._

_Toys._

_Music._

_Singing._

_PRIMUS MAKE IT STOP!_ Mirage shouted mentally, tucking his head closer to his knees. Shakily, he held up his wrist.

_"__**Ratchet, project what… I saw… for everyone to see**__."_ He stuttered over the 'comm. Ratchet walked closer, grabbed the wrist in a strong hold, and connected a cable to small port in the wrist. The lights in the hangar dimmed as Ratchet projected the holographic 3D image of what Mirage had seen. Everyone, bots and humans, were shocked by what they were witnessing.

_It was the inside of the warehouse. Every single 'Con that the Autobots knew of were sitting in front of the array of screens. Some were in their alt forms to make space for everyone to get in and watch, their attention cemented on the screens. Cheery, sugary voices filtered out of the speakers, and suddenly there were the sharp intakes of breaths before the mechs all started shouting various things._

_"Come on, Rainbow Dash! You can do it!"_

_"No! Not Rarity!"_

_"Dashie, Dashie, Dashie!"_

_"Come on, Wonderbolts! Wake up!"_

_The hologram shifted until they were able to see the screen. A boom blasted out of the speakers as a circular rainbow spread across the screen. Cheers erupted as various toy items were flung into the air._

_"She did it! She did it!"_

_"No, way!"_

_"Rarity stays alive!"_

_"Pssh, I could fly faster than that."_

_"Shut up, Starscream. No one's faster than the Dash."_

_The characters conversed as a large white pony with both wings and a horn showed up on the screen._

_"Hehe, Trollestia!"_

_"SHUT UP!" The mechs all chorused, attention re-affixed to the screen, listening intently to what the purple horned pony was saying to the white one. The credits started to roll across the screen as a chorus of 'aww's' filled the air._

_"Alright, next episode's next week. Now, just remember, when you buy merchandise, buy carefully. We don't want to draw attention to ourselves. NOW GET BACK TO WORK!" Lord Megatron screamed._

The hologram cut out. Everyone stood frozen, uncomprehending of what they had just witnessed. They turned to stare at Mirage, sympathy in their eyes.

"**LUNA'S BEST PONY**!" One of the soldiers shouted, breaking the silence. All eyes snapped to the soldier.

"**PINKIE PIE FOR PRESIDENT**!" Another shouted, challenging the first as all the heads turned to face him.

"**FLUTTERSHY FOR MASTER OVERLORD**!" A third shouted. Everyone stared at each other, starting to get freaked out a little.

"**DERPY RULES ALL**!" Another voice shouted, and all eyes turned to Will, who was sitting with a smug grin.

"**VINY…** Nah, you're right, Derpy's awesome." There was a stampede as everyone evacuated the building. The four soldiers and Lennox stood alone, staring at what had just unfolded. They nearly burst out laughing until they saw Mearing was still standing there.

"Uh… ma'am?" Lennox ventured. She shifted her glasses higher onto her nose, giving Lennox a sly smile.

"Would you like a banana?" She simply asked. The soldiers blanched.

"PRINCESS TROLLESTIA! EVERYPONY FOR THEMSELVES!" The soldiers shouted as they fled the room. There were vague shouts of, 'Don't send me to the moooon.' Mearing smirked.

_Foals. They know not who they mess with._ She turned and left, heels clicking as she left the hangar, smirk still plastered on her face.


	2. Bonus!

**Hey guys! I got the idea a while ago, and just decided to add this little bonus chapter to the one-shot. Enjoy!  
**

* * *

**_A few months later_**

The convention centre was loud with noise and chatter that echoed loudly from the tall walls and even taller ceiling. There were seas of bodies that shifted throughout the place, hustling and bustling from one end to another.

_"Infiltration complete, over."_

_"Acknowledged. Proceed to target, over."_

_"Roger, roger. Over and out."_

The built man slipped through the ever flowing stream of people that he was fighting against. There were tables everywhere, with people hawking precious goods. The colourful displays were enough to give a person a migraine and were an unparalleled distract. So many things that were being sold and the money was flowing.

_There's so much here that I wan… IS THAT A… NO! I need to focus! Stay focused! Get the target and get out!_ The tall man shook his head, trying to clear it. He didn't have to time for distractions! He needed to get in and out of there as fast as possibl…

His though process was interrupted by the warm scent of deliciously baked goods that had wafted over the room. His mouth watered and his stomach grumbled loudly. Maybe he could just…

_NO! I don't have the time for this!_

"MUFFINS! Freshly baked muffins! Buy one, get one free! Fresh muffins!"

The man froze and stood still for a moment.

_Oh, frag it._

* * *

YES! HE GOT IT! He was 20 minutes behind schedule, but he finally got it! He had the target!

_"Target acquired."_

_"FINALLY! WHAT TOOK YOU SO LONG?!"_ The man snarled softly at the statement.

_"Oi! Why don't you get in here and do it yourself, huh? The crowds here are cra…"_

_"Behave yourselves, soldiers"_ A third voice piped in. _"Now get out of there, before anyone sees you. Over."_

_"Roger. Over and out."_ The words had barely left his lips before the man crashed violently with another, both ending up in the floor. Various toys and food items went flying through the air. Luckily, the dozen muffins the first had bought survived without injury.

"Hey man! Watch where you're goi… SOUNDWAVE?!" The first man was shocked to see that that he had run into the holoform of said Decepticon, who was wearing a look akin to shocked amusement on his face.

"Autobot Sideswipe: Fancy seeing you here."

Sideswipe's jean and button-up shirt wearing holoform shook his head violently to rid himself of the flying faeries around his head, his blond bangs flying around. He looked back at Soundwave in his black jeans with the purple t-shirt, with large headphones hanging around his neck. Sideswipe's mouth finally stopped gaping as some recollection of words returned to him.

"What are you doing here, Soundwave?" Soundwave's holoform was already collecting the items he had dropped, which included several toys and pieces of art.

"Reply: Enjoying Bronycon, same as you."

Sideswipe was still sitting, mentally winded. He watched as people passed around him and the Decepticon, who offered him a hand up.

"Statement: Total neutrality while at conference. Inquiry: Temporary allowance?" Sideswipe stared at the hand for a moment longer before grabbing it and pulling him up to his feet. Soundwave handed him his dozen Derpy Muffins and the gigantic Fluttershy plushie he had been carrying earlier, as well the small Princess Luna figure. Sideswipe blushed softly at the thought of being caught at the Bronycon.

"Alright, fine. Only this once. Whatcha got?" He looked over. "No way! Is that Doctor Hooves?"

Soundwave was carrying a Ditsy Doo and a Time Turner plushy, along with a digital art piece and a small bag of Equestrian Bits chocolates.

"Answer: Correct. Inquiry: what are you doing here?"

Sideswipe coughed a little. "Super-secret mission. I'm sure you'll understand."

"Rewording: Finding birthday gift for: Annabelle Lennox."

Sideswipe scowled at Soundwave's smirk.

"Yeah, alright. Fine. Never could slip anything past you, you sneaky slagger." Sideswipe ran a free hand through his tangled hair. "Look, I've got to run. The guys are waiting outside. Sarah will KILL Will if he's late for Annabella's birthday party."

Soundwave nodded. "Soundwave: Understood. Suggestion: Hurry out. Reasoning: Traffic build-up towards North starting soon. Logic: Beat the traffic, arrive on time."

"Sweet. I have to go now. Thanks and um… nothing personal, but I will probably have to beat the snot out of you next time we meet."

"Understood. Soundwave: Will return blows with great enthusiasm."

"Great! 'Till I beat you up!" Sideswipe started to walk past Soundwave, looking over his shoulder and waving slightly. Soundwave turned and nodded briefly.

"Until we meet again."

* * *

"Took your sweet time!"

"Yeah, yeah, but I got everything." Sideswipe rolled his eyes as his holoform neared Ironhide's large form. The door popped open and Will jumped out, taking the large Fluttershy plushie from Sideswipe, giving it a cursory inspection. In truth, it was almost as large as the three year old toddler they were going to be giving it to.

"Ah, she will love this. Thanks, Sides. Um… did you get the… uh…"

"One signed Luna figurine, as you ordered." Will's face lit up and he nearly let out a girly squeal before coughing awkwardly.

"Alright. At ease, soldier. I declare this mission a success! C'mon Hide. We need to roll!" Will jumped back into the high Topkick truck, allowing Ironhide to drive them home. Sideswipe gave a slack two-fingered salute before going back to his Pontiac Solstice form, digging out a beautiful blueberry muffin. The holoforms did not need to eat, but anything they do eat simply gets turned into energon.

Still holding the box in his left hand and the muffin in the right, he carefully peeled away the paper before taking a bite of the muffin.

A taste explosion occurred and the world faded out of view as his eyes shot wide, freezing at the experience. He heard what the humans described as a heavenly chorus, but this was like listening an ethereal choir sung by Primus himself. Golden rays of sunlight drifted down around him, bathing him in a yellow glow and he was sure he saw angels floating around him.

Or flying babies in togas carrying little harps.

The holoform fell to its knees, basking in the glorious taste. He felt a few tears running down his cheeks, and a very worried response from his twin brother, and everyone else in the team.

_"Sideswipe! What's wrong,man! Did you get hurt or something?"_

"I've… I've seen…"

_"SEEN WHAT?! FOR PRIMUS SAKE ANSWER US!"_ Ratchet shouted over the comm. lines. A few people had stopped, pointing at Sideswipe with little giggles as they saw he had taken a bite from one of the muffins.

"I have seen the Well." He sated with a far off smile as he brought the muffin closer to his face and after gently placing the box on the ground, held the muffin in both hands…

…before gently caressing it to his cheek with his eyes shut in wonder.

He didn't seem to notice that the comm. line was going absolutely bananas with everyone asking questions.

_"What do you mean, 'you saw the Well'? Are you dying?"_

"No." Sideswipe replied with an airy voice. His brother was nearing the end of his tether.

_"'NO?' What do you mean then?!" _Sunstreaker's snooty voice demanded.

"Muffin."

There were a few moments of dead silence before anyone reacted.

_"'MUFFIN?!'"_ Ratchet shouted over the link.

"Derpy's Muffins." There was a second of silence before Will's voice was heard all over the radios. He was canning himself he was laughing so hard. All over the world, in whichever form they held, every single one of the Autobots face-palmed simultaneously, some giggling while they did.

Sideswipe ignored them all and took another bite of his glorious muffin.

The angels sang and the golden rays shone once more and only disappeared when he swallowed, which is when the practising boys choir behind him walked by and the guys standing by the truck behind him stopped messing around with the spotlights and actually started loading them into the trailer.

Coming to his senses, Sideswipe stood up, blushing faintly as he picked up the box and started walking over to where his Pontiac Solstice body was parked. By the time he had climbed into the driver's seat, the main comm. line had died down to idle chatter.

_'It's good to be a brony.'_ He smirked happily as his engine's growled to life, laughing as he let the tires spin before taking off with a flash of light. He was howling like a madman as he raced through the streets, nimbly dodging cars until suddenly there were too many to dodge.

"Woah!" He slammed on the brakes, stopping inches from a rather large truck. When he looked for a way around the truck, he frowned. There was no way out.

"What the…" There was a moment of silence before he realised he was stuck in the exact same traffic jam Soundwave had warned him about.

"DANGIT! CURSE YOU SOUNDWAVE AND YOUR DAY DAMPENERS!" Sideswipe cursed loudly.

High in the sky above, Soundwave could only smirked at the poor mech's predicament. He allowed himself the one guilty pleasure that he would rather die than admit to anyone.

He carefully maneuvered the two plushies out of his sub-space and into his cockpit. They suddenly started to move.

"Ditsy Doo: I just don't know what went wrong."

"Time Turner: You pressed the red button, didn't you?"

"Ditzy Doo: It looked like a muffin button..."


End file.
